You may or may not know that I had a previous blog before this one that I started in 2013, called “This Transparent Soul.” At the time, we were a couple of years into our journey of trying to have children, and my blog was a way to keep friends and family updated, as well as a place for me to process and share what God was teaching me as we walked through infertility. In July of 2014, during one of my darkest seasons, I wrote a couple of posts on trials. At the time, I was doing a study with some girlfriends called “Breaking Free” by Beth Moore. One particular assignment she gave was to search God’s Word for Scriptures that speak the mind of God to your specific stronghold and then write these verses on notecards and read them over and over again frequently. Well, I did that, and two of the verses really challenged me. I kept asking myself why I didn’t find some easier verses!?! But I’m pretty sure I found just the verses God wanted me to find! Now here in May of 2022, I have been feeling very led to write about trials again, so I am going to merge what God spoke to me then with what He has been teaching me since. I pray He will guide my fingers as I type and somehow bless you through these words on your screen.
Ok, so back to the “Breaking Free” study! According to Beth, a Christian is held captive by anything that hinders the abundant and Spirit-filled life God has planned for him or her. The greatest area of captivity in my life has been the trial of infertility… for many different reasons. It’s been a tool the devil has used to breed bitterness and anger in my heart. Having a baby became an idol in my life without me even knowing it, and removed God from His rightful place as Lord of my life. This quest to have a child also encouraged me to become very self-centered, has caused difficulty in my marriage and has strained other relationships in my life. Not to mention the major financial and physical burden. I could go on and on. Suffice it to say, no area of my life has been untouched by this trial over the past 11 years!
I decided to do some research on what some of my favorite Bible teachers had to say about these verses in their commentaries. Today I am going to share about a section of verses from The Book of James and maybe sometime in the future I will also share the ones from 1 Peter. You will be reading my own thoughts and lessons, but also some of what God has revealed to John McArthur, J. Vernon McGee and Beth Moore. I hope you will find the following information as helpful as I have! I’ve gone back to these old blog posts SO many times over years. I want to share it all with you because I know that that this topic of “rejoicing in trials” is something I need to be reminded of often, and I believe with all my heart that this information can benefit all of us. The Bible pretty much guarantees that we will all face trials of some kind at some point in our lives. It’s not “if” but “when.”
Here is the first verse I would like to walk through together:
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. Let the lowly brother glory in his exaltation, but the rich in his humiliation, because as a flower of the field he will pass away. For no sooner has the sun risen with a burning heat than it withers the grass; its flower falls and its beautiful appearance perishes. So the rich man also will fade in his pursuits. Blessed is the man who endures trials; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:2-12
So James starts off with the phrase, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials…” The natural human response to trials is not to rejoice; therefore the believer must make a conscious choice to face them with joy. The Bible teaches that happiness is fleeting because it depends on things outside of ourselves, such as circumstances or people, but true joy is eternal because it is based on our faith in Jesus Christ, which is itself an everlasting source of joy. Happiness is an emotion, joy is an attitude of the heart. When happiness fades, joy remains. The enemy tries to steal our joy and replace it with temporary happiness. Philippians 3:1 says “Rejoice in the Lord” and signifies the sphere in which the believer’s joy exists—a sphere unrelated to the circumstances of life, but related to an unchanging relationship to the Sovereign Lord. It is possible for joy to be found in the wilderness, like these bright yellow flowers that caught my attention in the middle of the desert.
The word trial means “a person, thing or situation that tests a person’s endurance or forbearance.” God brings such tests to prove— and increase— the strength and quality of one’s faith and demonstrate its validity. God has a goal in mind, you can count on that! Trials are meaningless, suffering is senseless, and testing is irrational unless there is some good purpose for them. Here James is speaking not about a natural feeling you should have, but rather the attitude of your heart toward your trouble. When we are in the fires of adversity and tragedy, the attitude of faith should be that God has permitted it for a purpose and He has a high and lofty goal in view. We can know that God is working something out in our lives. It does not necessarily mean we will understand the purpose God has in it. This is the test of faith. We walk by faith and not by sight. If the believer fails the test by wrongly responding, that test then becomes a temptation or a solicitation to evil. In my case, I have spent a lot of time wrongly responding to the trial of infertility and it has caused bitterness, anger, pity, selfishness, a desire to “play God” and take matters into my own hands. What God had been trying to use for a good purpose had become an area of sin in my life. Often I have not chosen joyfulness, but sorrow. When I take up camp here and stay, I am seeing this trial through the world’s eyes and not God’s eyes.
“…knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” James says that the testing of your faith produces patience, (better translated endurance). Through tests, a Christian will learn to withstand the pressure of a trial until God removes it at His appointed time… and even cherish the benefit! Sometimes trials are sent to keep us humble. Trials are painful, but purposeful. See 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. God would not remove the thorn as Paul requested, but would continually supply him with grace to endure it. The weaker the human instrument, the more clearly God’s grace shines forth. Paul took no pleasure in the pain itself, but rejoiced in the power of Christ that is revealed through him. He was able to cherish the benefit of his trial. More and more over these years have I been able to do the same. Sometimes it still amazes me that I can truly feel thankful for the gift of infertility! That is one of the biggest evidences of growth that I can see in my life.
“But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” The word perfect in the verse is not a reference to sinless perfection, but rather spiritual maturity. The testing of faith drives believers to deeper communion and greater trust in Christ. These are qualities that produce a stable, godly and righteous character. God gives us testing and trials to produce patience in our lives that we might become mature children of God and not remain babes, immature in our faith. With each trial we face, we should continue to look more and more like Him.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”
Only divine wisdom enables believers to be joyous and submissive in the trials of life. Asking of God is a necessary part of the believer’s prayer life. God intends that trials will drive believers to greater dependency on Him, by showing them their own inadequacy. Being double minded denotes having one’s mind or soul divided between God and the world. J. Vernon McGee wrote about how you can believe in God, but still not believe God. He himself went many years not really believing God would get him through hard times in his life. So often we turn a problem over to the Lord and “believe” Him, but the next day we do not believe Him. Sometimes we decide that since nothing has shown up by way of a solution, we will take matters into our own hands. If you are going to work out your problem for yourself, then God cannot work it out for you. I know I have been guilty of this time and time again. I pray to God and I say the words with my mouth, but does my heart completely believe without a shadow of doubt that He will deliver me? Not always. I hate to say that I have often felt like a wave of the sea, tossed by the winds. One day I am so confident in the Lord that I feel like I could walk on water and the next day I am drowning in my sorrows.
This morning at church I was thinking and praying about this blog post I knew I would be writing this afternoon. Some of the lyrics of one of the songs we sang was “I will build my life upon your love, it is a firm foundation. And I will put my trust in You alone and I will not be shaken.” Unfortunately I have not always built my life upon His love, and therefore my foundation has not always been firm and stable. At times I have built my life on doubt that the Lord really loves me or has my good in mind. I have put my trust in myself, doctors, the world, good vibes, etc. And I have definitely been shaken and tossed like crazy as a result. Today I lifted my hand and sang those words and I meant it with all my heart. Because I know from experience how true it is! His love is the only firm foundation. I’m sure someday I will forget again, but God in His goodness will find ways to continue reminding me.
“Let the lowly brother glory in his exaltation, but the rich in his humiliation, because as a flower of the field he will pass away. For no sooner has the sun risen with a burning heat that it withers the grass; its flower falls and its beautiful appearance perishes. So the rich man also will fade in his pursuits.”
Trials make all believers equally dependent on God and bring them to the same level with each other by keeping them from becoming preoccupied with earthly things. Poor Christians and wealthy ones can both rejoice that God is no respecter of earthly material status and that they both have the privilege of being identified with Christ. God wants to bring all those who are His own to full maturity as Christians and he has many tests for doing that. He also wants to give assurance to to us. We should not regard our trials as evidence that we are not His children, but rather proof that we are. J. Vernon McGee says, “My friend, if you are not having any trouble today, you should question your salvation; if you are having trouble, that is a good sign that you belong to Him.” Wow, thats a bold statement! Take it in and digest it for a while, because I think there is a lot of truth to it. If you are a Christian, someone or something is always going to be testing you….whether it be God, the devil or the world.
“Blessed is the man who endures trials; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” The word blessed in reference to a person means, “made holy.” Sanctification, the process of being made holy, takes place throughout the lives of believers. If you have been approved or “passed the test,” you have successfully and victoriously gone through his trials, indicating you are genuine… because your faith has endured. The crown of life is the believers ultimate reward, eternal life, which God has promised to him and will grant in full at death or at Christ’s coming. Although everyone who believes in Jesus Christ and accepts Him as Lord and Savior is saved, there will be degrees of rewards for believers based on how they lived here on earth. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to have that crown, the crown which he offers to those who, after they have endured the testings of this life, love Him!
Corey and I just got back a couple of days ago from a trip out west to Utah and Colorado! One of things we did while we were there was visit Canyonlands National Park (where all the pictures in this post were taken). That day, as we drove and walked through miles and miles of vast wilderness, I could not stop thinking about trials. If a dry desert, deep canyons and nearly colorless valleys don’t remind you of seasons of trial, what does?
Although evolutionists and creationists disagree on a lot when it comes to when, why and how these canyons came to be, one thing everyone seems to agree on is that water and erosion were/are involved. Look at the picture above. It says that the relentless forces of water and gravity have slowly sculpted the vast canyons before you. And I think it is much the same with our trials. “You are here” on a smooth and even surface, going about your business. Then a trial comes into your life and gradually wears and erodes pieces of you away, sometimes on multiple levels. And then things stabilize and you move along until the same thing happens again, and then again. Sometimes the valley that is formed is deeper than other times and the length between the trials can also vary. Some trials come like an abrupt and mighty storm and some are a light but persistent rain, slowly whittling away… seeming like they will never end. No matter what kind of trial you face, one thing is always true: you are changed in some way.
Ideally the things being eroded away are sin, worldliness, idols, etc. But in order for that to happen, we have to choose to “consider it pure joy.” In other words, have a biblical and eternal perspective. Like I mentioned earlier, that won’t just happen naturally as sinful humans. Sometimes what will be eroded away are peace, contentment, trust and the like. When we insist upon seeing our trials through a worldly lens, we will be so full of sadness and grief that we will have very little capacity left for joy. Trust me, I know!
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned over the past several years is that grief and joy don’t cancel each other out, they coexist. I carry them both with me to some degree everyday. God doesn’t ask us to deny our suffering, but to see the true and good purpose of it. Tim Keller says “the opposite of joy is not sadness, it’s hopelessness.” Grief is not the enemy, but it needs joy to help protect it from the real enemy, who loves to capitalize on our vulnerabilities.
I do feel it is also important to mention that mental health conditions like depression and anxiety are very real and you may benefit from the help of a counselor and/or medication, like I have. There are also a lot of functional medicine interventions that can help address them. I beat myself up for years feeling like I wasn’t a “good Christian” since I struggled to get a handle on my mental health like I thought I should be able to. That is a lie from the enemy! I am here to tell you without shame that my current treatment for anxiety and depression includes God, my faith, a counselor, friends, family, a functional medicine doctor, exercise, nature, meditation, etc. etc. AND an antidepressant. God has used them all in powerful ways to bring me to where I am today. A few weeks ago, I experienced the first Mother’s Day in a long time where joy actually felt heavier than grief (she types with tears of gratitude in her eyes)!
I have realized that part of my calling is to be a spiritual mother to some younger women and kids in my life, and that has really been a blessing to me lately. My college small group girls even call me their “second Mom!” It has been one of the sweet surprises of this season I am in. The grief is still there and there is still no closure… but the joy is there, too!
One thing I am trying to be intentional about is focusing on what I do have, rather than what I don’t have. I tend to be somewhat of a pessimist and it is way easier for me to notice what is wrong or missing, but I am trying hard to rewire my brain, which has been stuck in those negative pathways for so long! It is not easy, but I started a gratitude journal a few months ago, which has been helpful! Because my life, so different than I imagined, is still beautiful.
“A voice cries:
“In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord;
make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be lifted up,
and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
and the rough places a plain.
And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed,
and all flesh shall see it together,
for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”
Isaiah 40:3-5
Whatever your personal canyon looks like today, I pray these truths and reminders bring you comfort there! What I used to see as dark, depressing valleys… I am beginning to see as beautiful, unique creations formed by a loving Creator, who spent plenty of time Himself in the desert. Remember that you are not alone. We are all in these canyonlands together!
Although I am a nurse by trade, I am not a doctor or an expert, and the information I provide on this blog is for educational purposes only. Each person is unique and their needs and circumstances vary, so I always recommend that you consult your medical provider before making any changes.
